Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
