I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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