Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
