What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
