with your own penis?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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