haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
