Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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