Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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