After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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