Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This baby is an asshole
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
