Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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