i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
