new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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