I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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