u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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