if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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