Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize