I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
