i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
