chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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