Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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