i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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