i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
