Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize