Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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