your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
