people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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