i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
