VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
