pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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