Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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