she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
