New low: just hacked my moms facebook
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
