I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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