I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Are we still banned from the library?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
