Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize