Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
