I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
