"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
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That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.