apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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