There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
