Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
