just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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