He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
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well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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