i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
