Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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