dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
