arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
