I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party