i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear