Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
