dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The adults are the big ones right?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
