well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
