i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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