Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
