Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
