Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
