i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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