Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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