His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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