So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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