i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
