I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
